Okay I start this post with a disclaimer: I'm crazy. Just an FYI. Crazy for someone. I mean seriously, if you don't want to hear about it please don't read any further.
But really? I walk all day with this stupid grin on my face. And I love it. People tell me I am glowing...and I can't help but giggle. I honestly have never been so happy. I haven't even thought about any of that stupid shit that normally trips people up. Like, does she like me back? What happens if? What about her ex's? Will she like my mom? Does she like cheese as much as I do? If not, then can she tolerate my addiction? I mean nothing. Everything has felt right.
I am beginning to listen to my gut. My gut is telling me to react like I just won the lottery. Just enjoy. Don't ask why, or what if, just enjoy. And I am.
And why is it that every song I listen to seems like it was written from me to her??? Seriously. Okay most don't like Dave Matthews. But I personally love him. Every song I listen to describes exactly how I feel when she looks my way, smiles my way, reaches for my hand or kisses me on the side of my cheek.
It's all so cliche and "movie moment" but...its just how it is. Fuck, I don't even know where I am going with this. Open letter to myself, bla bla bla. Really hope that no one is reading this. Geez.
So here's a song...and I am adding it because I love this video and want to be able to easily come back to it if i want to watch it. Lol.
This is Dave Matthews' Crash Into Me. I can't embed, but here is the link. Those of you who don't like him, suck it, lie to me and tell me you love him. What I don't know wont hurt me ;]
From me, to her
Come this December I am going to Germany! That's right. Jessica does Germany. I am going to walk around with a camera around my neck, a map in my hand and a leather fanny pack. Snapping pictures and having conversations like this:
Random person: "Guten morgen!"
Me: "Nein"
Random person: "Was?"
Me: "Muschi"
Random person: "Muschi???? Ich habe gesagt 'guten morgen'"
Me: "Geburtstag geschlecht"
Random person: "hört auf deutsch zu reden"
Me: "Sehr gut."
That's just a quick snippet of what is to come. Lots of laughs, lots of good times. I am pretty sure I'll get a little drunk while I am there ;]. And I for sure will get lots of her. I can't wait. Christmas in Germany, here I come.
Until then I say to you, "Bis später"
<3
-J
Monday, September 21, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
I have no title
I got nothin'. No title. Just a random post for tonight.
I find it so funny that being tortured and sad makes for much better inspiration than happiness. Maybe it is just me, but when I am sad and down I have SO MUCH more to write about. I suppose it is just how it goes. All I can say when I am happy is, "I am happy". Well, that's what I can say to the world. Its because I can't even begin to articulate how happy I am, so why even try? People wont even begin to understand. I have no problem telling the person who is making happy exactly how I feel though.
I can explain that the I love that little crease where their nose meets their face. And how that spot holds their skins smell. The way their side feels. You know, the spot right in between their ribs and their hips, that little curve, how it feels when I have my arm draped over it at night when we are both sleepy and falling into dreams. How their leg feels when we are laying facing each other, and it hikes itself up to pry my legs apart to rest in between. The feeling of unconditional love that comes when the car is parked, and I get a kiss. Just because we are stopped. And how that love makes me lose myself in depths of them that only I can reach.
But I think that is a little more than people want to hear when they ask...how are you? Maybe I should just print that on a little card. Oh I know, I can laminate it! I look for ANY reason to laminate something. :]
Normally, I don't listen to mainstream R&B hits. I mean they are great for a club, and a good remix is always good. But lately, I am all about them. Cuz they make me think of her. It is ridiculous! I love that kind of love where you look in the mirror and just go..."My god, you are ridiculous. This is crazy. Too good to be true" But it is. Then I remind myself, it's fate.
So if you see me on the freeway you'll see:
1. Windows down
2. Me smoking a Camel No. 9
3. Drinking some sort of Starbucks
4. Stereo playing either of the following: Birthday sex, I know you want me, Meet me halfway, Best I ever had, Be on you, Sex on fire, or any Dave Matthews band song where he sings about love.
5. Me screaming and singing along to any of the above.
6. I may or may not be dancing in my seat.
Just a warning. Don't point and laugh! Just remember....I'm happy! I know, its freakin' ridiculous.
Actually, I kind of did write a lot about happiness. Hmmm...maybe I was wrong ;]
I am RARELY wrong...seriously, but maybe this time I am. Relish it.
Bed time. Well not really bed, but I have someone very important to talk to, and I think she's up now.
Niiiiiight!
- J
I find it so funny that being tortured and sad makes for much better inspiration than happiness. Maybe it is just me, but when I am sad and down I have SO MUCH more to write about. I suppose it is just how it goes. All I can say when I am happy is, "I am happy". Well, that's what I can say to the world. Its because I can't even begin to articulate how happy I am, so why even try? People wont even begin to understand. I have no problem telling the person who is making happy exactly how I feel though.
I can explain that the I love that little crease where their nose meets their face. And how that spot holds their skins smell. The way their side feels. You know, the spot right in between their ribs and their hips, that little curve, how it feels when I have my arm draped over it at night when we are both sleepy and falling into dreams. How their leg feels when we are laying facing each other, and it hikes itself up to pry my legs apart to rest in between. The feeling of unconditional love that comes when the car is parked, and I get a kiss. Just because we are stopped. And how that love makes me lose myself in depths of them that only I can reach.
But I think that is a little more than people want to hear when they ask...how are you? Maybe I should just print that on a little card. Oh I know, I can laminate it! I look for ANY reason to laminate something. :]
Normally, I don't listen to mainstream R&B hits. I mean they are great for a club, and a good remix is always good. But lately, I am all about them. Cuz they make me think of her. It is ridiculous! I love that kind of love where you look in the mirror and just go..."My god, you are ridiculous. This is crazy. Too good to be true" But it is. Then I remind myself, it's fate.
So if you see me on the freeway you'll see:
1. Windows down
2. Me smoking a Camel No. 9
3. Drinking some sort of Starbucks
4. Stereo playing either of the following: Birthday sex, I know you want me, Meet me halfway, Best I ever had, Be on you, Sex on fire, or any Dave Matthews band song where he sings about love.
5. Me screaming and singing along to any of the above.
6. I may or may not be dancing in my seat.
Just a warning. Don't point and laugh! Just remember....I'm happy! I know, its freakin' ridiculous.
Actually, I kind of did write a lot about happiness. Hmmm...maybe I was wrong ;]
I am RARELY wrong...seriously, but maybe this time I am. Relish it.
Bed time. Well not really bed, but I have someone very important to talk to, and I think she's up now.
Niiiiiight!
- J
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I'm just sayin'
No one, should ever, ever, use the word "chillaxin". Well, it's not even a word. But still. Don't ever use it. Santa isn't real, there is no tooth fairy who leaves you money under your pillow while you sleep, there is never any justified reason to ever wear spandex, "chilaxin" isnt a word, and if you use it, I wont talk to you.
Phew. Feels good to get that off my chest. *giggle*. I said "chest". Lol.
Couldn't find my straightener this morning, didn't have time to find hair product, so therefore, I look like ass. At least I have my Starbucks Doubleshot with Energy + Coffee.
Worked late today and wanted to do my paper but I left my damn book at work! So it's laundry and cleaning my room tonight. Paper will have to wait until tomorrow. Geez, school sucks. *shakes fists in air, and in dramatic tone says* "there's gotta be another way!!!!"
In other news, I have a new favorite song :] Well, when don't I?! Check it:
And I saw the movie 500 Days of Summer with a special someone, and I loved it! If you haven't seen it, then, not cool. You must.
I want you so bad, its my only wish <3
Alright it's off to finish laundry. Everyone have a good night and remember, don't ever use the non-word "chillaxin". I mean it.
- J
Phew. Feels good to get that off my chest. *giggle*. I said "chest". Lol.
Couldn't find my straightener this morning, didn't have time to find hair product, so therefore, I look like ass. At least I have my Starbucks Doubleshot with Energy + Coffee.
Worked late today and wanted to do my paper but I left my damn book at work! So it's laundry and cleaning my room tonight. Paper will have to wait until tomorrow. Geez, school sucks. *shakes fists in air, and in dramatic tone says* "there's gotta be another way!!!!"
In other news, I have a new favorite song :] Well, when don't I?! Check it:
And I saw the movie 500 Days of Summer with a special someone, and I loved it! If you haven't seen it, then, not cool. You must.
I want you so bad, its my only wish <3
Alright it's off to finish laundry. Everyone have a good night and remember, don't ever use the non-word "chillaxin". I mean it.
- J
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
The sex pyramid
Life isnt all fruits and grains and shit....
It should include sex! And all of these kinds...to that I say, please, yes, yes, yes, yes please, I'll have that!
Yes please
Man, this is amazing. This is the best thing I have heard of all day. Now, it's all just a matter of doing it! Hmm, therein lies the problem. :]
I encourage you all to give this a shot. Let me know how it goes for ya!
-J
It should include sex! And all of these kinds...to that I say, please, yes, yes, yes, yes please, I'll have that!
Yes please
Man, this is amazing. This is the best thing I have heard of all day. Now, it's all just a matter of doing it! Hmm, therein lies the problem. :]
I encourage you all to give this a shot. Let me know how it goes for ya!
-J
Saturday, July 11, 2009
OC lesbians?! OH my!
WHY DIDN'T I WATCH THIS?!
Apparently there are some chicks that were on the OC, Marissa and Alex?! They like make out and enjoy each other's company and shit.
Why didn't anyone tell me about this?! You know, I really rely on my lesbian phone tree for things like this. This is what its for!
I blame Arlan. With how much we exchange information about lesbians and lesbian happenings there is no reason this should have happened. But the silver lining is....there's youtube. :] And now we can all watch it!!!!
Just FYI that chick who isn't Mischa Barton, is Olivia Wilde. She is the same chick that is said to spend an awfully a lot of time with Megan Fox. So much that Brian Austin Greendouche has taken a notice.
Yeah, we like her.
You know, rated R lesbianism is cool in movies and on TV [like L Word], but there's something about PG and PG-13 lesbianism that's pretty hot. The clip above, in my opinion is PG-13 lesbianism. Below is a list of some of my favorite PG and PG-13 lez scences, on shows or in films. Heh, what a tease ;]
5. Vicky Christina Barcelona. My girl Scarlett and Penelope Cruz kissing in a dark room. Two things only actually wrong with this: 1. Scene wasn't long enough. 2. I wasn't invited.
4. Calista Flockhart and Lucy Liu on Ally McBeal. I was young, and for some reason, super obsessed with Ally McBeal. Now I know why. Because I was super gay. AND because the show had Portia De Rossi and Lucy Liu. And they were always kissing girls. Hmmm. If only I knew then what I know now. This vid has no sound. But that's okay, we don't need noise. Just watch.
3. Ayiiia from Real World. She's got a shitty attitude. BUT she's hot. So just don't listen to her...just *watch* her do her thing :]. I love Real World Cancun.
2. Lost and Delirious. Piper Perabo is hot. End of story. And this story is beautiful. We were all rooting for Paulie and Tori. This is hands down a classic lezzy film. Again, why wasn't I there?!
1. Spashley from South of Nowhere. Ashley is that hot edgy lez that falls for the christian girl next door surprise dyke. The "N" network recently cancelled this show which was a stupid stupid move. Mostly because I've been sending nasty hate mail, but this just means one less show that could reach audiences and potentially help pave the road to equality. Either way, Ashley is hot, Spencer is hot, and we are reminded of how hot they are together, every epsidoe. Thats why this show is my favorite form of PG lesbianism.
Now, please remember, there is so MUCH MORE. But these are just my top 5 PG and PG-13 lesbian moments. Don't even get me started on the movie Wild Things, Rachel Shelley in ANY sex scene on the L Word, or Lena Headley and Piper Perabo in Imagine Me & You.
Happy Saturday to all ;]
- J
Apparently there are some chicks that were on the OC, Marissa and Alex?! They like make out and enjoy each other's company and shit.
Why didn't anyone tell me about this?! You know, I really rely on my lesbian phone tree for things like this. This is what its for!
I blame Arlan. With how much we exchange information about lesbians and lesbian happenings there is no reason this should have happened. But the silver lining is....there's youtube. :] And now we can all watch it!!!!
Just FYI that chick who isn't Mischa Barton, is Olivia Wilde. She is the same chick that is said to spend an awfully a lot of time with Megan Fox. So much that Brian Austin Greendouche has taken a notice.
Yeah, we like her.
You know, rated R lesbianism is cool in movies and on TV [like L Word], but there's something about PG and PG-13 lesbianism that's pretty hot. The clip above, in my opinion is PG-13 lesbianism. Below is a list of some of my favorite PG and PG-13 lez scences, on shows or in films. Heh, what a tease ;]
5. Vicky Christina Barcelona. My girl Scarlett and Penelope Cruz kissing in a dark room. Two things only actually wrong with this: 1. Scene wasn't long enough. 2. I wasn't invited.
4. Calista Flockhart and Lucy Liu on Ally McBeal. I was young, and for some reason, super obsessed with Ally McBeal. Now I know why. Because I was super gay. AND because the show had Portia De Rossi and Lucy Liu. And they were always kissing girls. Hmmm. If only I knew then what I know now. This vid has no sound. But that's okay, we don't need noise. Just watch.
3. Ayiiia from Real World. She's got a shitty attitude. BUT she's hot. So just don't listen to her...just *watch* her do her thing :]. I love Real World Cancun.
2. Lost and Delirious. Piper Perabo is hot. End of story. And this story is beautiful. We were all rooting for Paulie and Tori. This is hands down a classic lezzy film. Again, why wasn't I there?!
1. Spashley from South of Nowhere. Ashley is that hot edgy lez that falls for the christian girl next door surprise dyke. The "N" network recently cancelled this show which was a stupid stupid move. Mostly because I've been sending nasty hate mail, but this just means one less show that could reach audiences and potentially help pave the road to equality. Either way, Ashley is hot, Spencer is hot, and we are reminded of how hot they are together, every epsidoe. Thats why this show is my favorite form of PG lesbianism.
Now, please remember, there is so MUCH MORE. But these are just my top 5 PG and PG-13 lesbian moments. Don't even get me started on the movie Wild Things, Rachel Shelley in ANY sex scene on the L Word, or Lena Headley and Piper Perabo in Imagine Me & You.
Happy Saturday to all ;]
- J
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
So good
I love cheese. But do I love it THIS much? Hmm...bouncing through my day with the delicious aftertaste of cheetos on my lips? Some would say ew, but to that I say, what a delight!
Oh and on the way home I was listening to some old school Snoop and the lyrics were pretty raunchy. I was thinking to myself, what's with all this nonsense now-a-days about vulgar lyrics and so on...then I realized, its because white people never used to listen to rap music back then!!! Duh! Reminds me of when my dad HATED the idea that I wanted a Boyz II Men cd...ahh yes, Boyz II Men. And the cd I wanted? Their Christmas album. What did he think was going to happen to me listening to their soulful rendition of Noel?! I'd lower my car, throw in some hydraulics and a tiny steering wheel, and wear baggy pants with a red rag hanging out of my back pocket?? Really? Cuz I was gonna do that anyways, with or without the CD.
Also while I'm at it. This is for the silver mitsubishi on the freeway today. The lights on a car that you use to signal...they are also called "indicators". They are actually used to "indicate" to other drivers your desire to change lanes or to exit so you can do so safely. That's right! They're more than just blinky lights. How bout you remember that the next time your car is 3/4 into my lane and you turn it on for about 1 second. I'm sending you the bill for the next set of break pads I need, asshole. Oh and....you're ugly.
Off to watch those awesome trashy VH1 shows I love so much!
- J
Oh and on the way home I was listening to some old school Snoop and the lyrics were pretty raunchy. I was thinking to myself, what's with all this nonsense now-a-days about vulgar lyrics and so on...then I realized, its because white people never used to listen to rap music back then!!! Duh! Reminds me of when my dad HATED the idea that I wanted a Boyz II Men cd...ahh yes, Boyz II Men. And the cd I wanted? Their Christmas album. What did he think was going to happen to me listening to their soulful rendition of Noel?! I'd lower my car, throw in some hydraulics and a tiny steering wheel, and wear baggy pants with a red rag hanging out of my back pocket?? Really? Cuz I was gonna do that anyways, with or without the CD.
Also while I'm at it. This is for the silver mitsubishi on the freeway today. The lights on a car that you use to signal...they are also called "indicators". They are actually used to "indicate" to other drivers your desire to change lanes or to exit so you can do so safely. That's right! They're more than just blinky lights. How bout you remember that the next time your car is 3/4 into my lane and you turn it on for about 1 second. I'm sending you the bill for the next set of break pads I need, asshole. Oh and....you're ugly.
Off to watch those awesome trashy VH1 shows I love so much!
- J
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Twitterdoo
Looking for backgrounds for my twitter page on google and I came across a website called:
Pimp my twitter.
That's just wrong.
That's all, for now. It's time for some shut eye.
- J
Pimp my twitter.
That's just wrong.
That's all, for now. It's time for some shut eye.
- J
Salad Sexcapade
I must admit, I make a bangin' salad. Chunks of avacado coupled with ripe roma tomatoes, bountiful eggs, yummy snapea crisps, drizzled with *lite* ranch on a bed of fresh romaine. Next time I'll take a picture. Roll that beautiful bean footage.
Hmm what's new with me. Lets see, besides my amazing salad making skills, I realized I can indeed survive without cable. Our "smartcard" (if it was smart it would have automatically updated via satellite, but whatever, I'm not bitter) expired like, oh I don't know, years ago [3 weeks ago]. Dish is supposed to be sending us a new one...but is it here? No. Did they get a polite call from me asking for assitance? But of course, I'm always a lady. I used phrases like "I got disconnected 3 times already lady!", "I really don't understand why this is so difficult, I just need a smartcard because mine expired forever ago" and "Fine, let me speak to your manager". See? Very polite. Here we are, 15 years later, and I've missed Tough Love, Rock of Love Bus, AND the United States of Tara. Nurse Jackie is starting on Showtime soon, and if I miss that, Dish is getting a rude letter. Okay maybe not "survive" in the traditional sense of the word, but yeah....Dish sucks.
In other news, I just purchased the album "Swoon" by Silversun Puckups. One word: jizz-worthy. Wait, is that two words? Who knows. Whatever.
Okay off to the gym. This entry was short. Bleh.
:]
- J
Hmm what's new with me. Lets see, besides my amazing salad making skills, I realized I can indeed survive without cable. Our "smartcard" (if it was smart it would have automatically updated via satellite, but whatever, I'm not bitter) expired like, oh I don't know, years ago [3 weeks ago]. Dish is supposed to be sending us a new one...but is it here? No. Did they get a polite call from me asking for assitance? But of course, I'm always a lady. I used phrases like "I got disconnected 3 times already lady!", "I really don't understand why this is so difficult, I just need a smartcard because mine expired forever ago" and "Fine, let me speak to your manager". See? Very polite. Here we are, 15 years later, and I've missed Tough Love, Rock of Love Bus, AND the United States of Tara. Nurse Jackie is starting on Showtime soon, and if I miss that, Dish is getting a rude letter. Okay maybe not "survive" in the traditional sense of the word, but yeah....Dish sucks.
In other news, I just purchased the album "Swoon" by Silversun Puckups. One word: jizz-worthy. Wait, is that two words? Who knows. Whatever.
Okay off to the gym. This entry was short. Bleh.
:]
- J
Saturday, March 28, 2009
It's his fault
So my personal trainer, David Williams, expects me to build him a shrine. He wants me to do this because he enjoys to hear me bitch and complain and crawl along the floor, because I am too damn weak and sore to do anything else. His "super legs" are anything but super. Definitely not "super" at 6:30 in the morning before work. Super would be...lets see...a shmoke and a panacke, a bong and a blitz, or a crepe and a pipe.
This entry is for David.
He rules all.
He is the best.
Everybody hopes to be just like him.
Chuck Norris doesn't have shit on David.
Oh and David's tears cure cancer; too bad he never cries.
So if at anytime over the next couple weeks I am pissing and moaning...don't blame me. Blame him. It's his fault. But hopefully soon, my body will be bangin, and that'll be his fault too!
Happy Saturday to all! I'm off to partake in a little partay tonight for a friend. Be safe, don't drink and drive, and come to the bar and buy me a drink.
- J
This entry is for David.
He rules all.
He is the best.
Everybody hopes to be just like him.
Chuck Norris doesn't have shit on David.
Oh and David's tears cure cancer; too bad he never cries.
So if at anytime over the next couple weeks I am pissing and moaning...don't blame me. Blame him. It's his fault. But hopefully soon, my body will be bangin, and that'll be his fault too!
Happy Saturday to all! I'm off to partake in a little partay tonight for a friend. Be safe, don't drink and drive, and come to the bar and buy me a drink.
- J
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Out of his mind
No wonder Christian Bale was so perfect for the American Psycho role. It seems he simply portrayed himself! And not only that, but this totally explains the recent assault charges against him filed by his own family. Well done Christian Bale, well done. You are what I like to call "douchetastic"!
-J
-J
Friday, January 2, 2009
My list
So most couples have the "freebie list". Such list means if at sometime, for some reason, god decides to be very nice to me, and the following ladies get so drunk, they think I'm Justin Timberlake or Johnny Depp and sleep with me, Diana can't get mad. After careful deliberation, I unveil to you, my celebrity freebie list:
- Kate Hudson
- Eva Mendes
- Pink
- Sarah Shahi
- Scarlett Johansson
People that came very close to being on the list, or might have been kicked off the list include:
- Charlize Theron.
I mean c'mon, yowza. She is truly beautiful, but seems a little too straight for me.
- Piper Perabo
She takes lezzy roles. She does it like its natural. And she looks damn fine doing it. But alas, not everyone can make the list.
- Rachel Shelley
Um. I don't know why she's not on my list. I may have to rethink some things.
Ugh, still sick :[ For christ sake, someone bring me some cheese!
-J
- Kate Hudson
- Eva Mendes
- Pink
- Sarah Shahi
- Scarlett Johansson
People that came very close to being on the list, or might have been kicked off the list include:
- Charlize Theron.
I mean c'mon, yowza. She is truly beautiful, but seems a little too straight for me.
- Piper Perabo
She takes lezzy roles. She does it like its natural. And she looks damn fine doing it. But alas, not everyone can make the list.
- Rachel Shelley
Um. I don't know why she's not on my list. I may have to rethink some things.
Ugh, still sick :[ For christ sake, someone bring me some cheese!
-J
Ah, my hero
Only veteran comedian Kathy Griffin can make a prostitute blush. For those of you NOT tuning into CNN for watching the ball drop [who really would anyway] this is what went down when someone mistakenly decided to heckle Kathy Griffin.
Brava. I know that people are probably outraged, but I'm sure those people laughed and nodded in agreement when they heard that. Right before they started typing out an outraged email to CNN headquarters.
There is this realness about Kathy Griffin. She is more real than those true life documentaries on MTV about "Head Cheerleader: It's no ra ra ra" or "Douchebag: its not all pooka shell necklaces and tattered abercrombie jeans". It's real life.
Welp I'm sick. I've got me a good ole sinus infection. That's okay, it just gives me a reason to OD on dayquil. Happy new year!
-J
Brava. I know that people are probably outraged, but I'm sure those people laughed and nodded in agreement when they heard that. Right before they started typing out an outraged email to CNN headquarters.
There is this realness about Kathy Griffin. She is more real than those true life documentaries on MTV about "Head Cheerleader: It's no ra ra ra" or "Douchebag: its not all pooka shell necklaces and tattered abercrombie jeans". It's real life.
Welp I'm sick. I've got me a good ole sinus infection. That's okay, it just gives me a reason to OD on dayquil. Happy new year!
-J
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