Salad Sexcapade

I must admit, I make a bangin' salad. Chunks of avacado coupled with ripe roma tomatoes, bountiful eggs, yummy snapea crisps, drizzled with *lite* ranch on a bed of fresh romaine. Next time I'll take a picture. Roll that beautiful bean footage.

Hmm what's new with me. Lets see, besides my amazing salad making skills, I realized I can indeed survive without cable. Our "smartcard" (if it was smart it would have automatically updated via satellite, but whatever, I'm not bitter) expired like, oh I don't know, years ago [3 weeks ago]. Dish is supposed to be sending us a new one...but is it here? No. Did they get a polite call from me asking for assitance? But of course, I'm always a lady. I used phrases like "I got disconnected 3 times already lady!", "I really don't understand why this is so difficult, I just need a smartcard because mine expired forever ago" and "Fine, let me speak to your manager". See? Very polite. Here we are, 15 years later, and I've missed Tough Love, Rock of Love Bus, AND the United States of Tara. Nurse Jackie is starting on Showtime soon, and if I miss that, Dish is getting a rude letter. Okay maybe not "survive" in the traditional sense of the word, but yeah....Dish sucks.

In other news, I just purchased the album "Swoon" by Silversun Puckups. One word: jizz-worthy. Wait, is that two words? Who knows. Whatever.

Okay off to the gym. This entry was short. Bleh.

:]

- J

Lesbian Jumping Jacks

Hmmm...Lesbian culture. It’s much more than L Word and tank tops ya’ll. I was yearning to learn. So I decided to go to Google and type in “lesbian culture”. I clicked on the result that said “lesbian life, lesbian culture – top picks”. It brought me to a page on About.com. I have used this site before to look up some stuff but I didn’t think they had a lesbian section. I was brought to the author’s top ten all time favorite lesbian movie list. Check it out queer…I mean here.

Also I find it hilarious how ads are geared to advertise things they think we would like based on our search criteria. So listed on the side under the “Most Popular” tab is a list of the most popular searches about lesbians on About.com. The list is as follows:
1. Famous Lesbians…….okay, cool.
2. Oral sex…….good call. *nodding* better than an oreo dipped in ice cold milk.
3. Her first lesbian sex…….mmkay, that’s a little personal. But I like story time so, whatever.
4. G-Spot……I know where that is, do you?
and my favorite *drumroll*…
5. How to fist…….awesomeness.

What I don’t like are the ads on myspace. “ARE YOU EMO?! FIND OUT HERE”. Gee I’m sorry myspace I can’t, cuz my hair is covering my eyes and I colored in my monitor with a sharpie cuz I love the color black so much. Pretty LAME. I do love high school emo kids though. They are my fave. So cute with their tight little itty bitty pants, checkered vans and hanes hoodies with safety pins. I just want to hug them.

Okay I’m hungry. Its lunch and I am in desperate need for some cheese. Melted. With bacon. Fuck sex, that sounds fantastic.

I take it back. I don’t want to fuck sex. I want it...and looking at the new season 5 LW promo I am going to get it!

If you haven't already seen it...



Song obsession of the day:
Three Seed by Silversun Pickups.

-J