OC lesbians?! OH my!

WHY DIDN'T I WATCH THIS?!

Apparently there are some chicks that were on the OC, Marissa and Alex?! They like make out and enjoy each other's company and shit.

Why didn't anyone tell me about this?! You know, I really rely on my lesbian phone tree for things like this. This is what its for!

I blame Arlan. With how much we exchange information about lesbians and lesbian happenings there is no reason this should have happened. But the silver lining is....there's youtube. :] And now we can all watch it!!!!



Just FYI that chick who isn't Mischa Barton, is Olivia Wilde. She is the same chick that is said to spend an awfully a lot of time with Megan Fox. So much that Brian Austin Greendouche has taken a notice.

Yeah, we like her.

You know, rated R lesbianism is cool in movies and on TV [like L Word], but there's something about PG and PG-13 lesbianism that's pretty hot. The clip above, in my opinion is PG-13 lesbianism. Below is a list of some of my favorite PG and PG-13 lez scences, on shows or in films. Heh, what a tease ;]

5. Vicky Christina Barcelona. My girl Scarlett and Penelope Cruz kissing in a dark room. Two things only actually wrong with this: 1. Scene wasn't long enough. 2. I wasn't invited.



4. Calista Flockhart and Lucy Liu on Ally McBeal. I was young, and for some reason, super obsessed with Ally McBeal. Now I know why. Because I was super gay. AND because the show had Portia De Rossi and Lucy Liu. And they were always kissing girls. Hmmm. If only I knew then what I know now. This vid has no sound. But that's okay, we don't need noise. Just watch.



3. Ayiiia from Real World. She's got a shitty attitude. BUT she's hot. So just don't listen to her...just *watch* her do her thing :]. I love Real World Cancun.



2. Lost and Delirious. Piper Perabo is hot. End of story. And this story is beautiful. We were all rooting for Paulie and Tori. This is hands down a classic lezzy film. Again, why wasn't I there?!



1. Spashley from South of Nowhere. Ashley is that hot edgy lez that falls for the christian girl next door surprise dyke. The "N" network recently cancelled this show which was a stupid stupid move. Mostly because I've been sending nasty hate mail, but this just means one less show that could reach audiences and potentially help pave the road to equality. Either way, Ashley is hot, Spencer is hot, and we are reminded of how hot they are together, every epsidoe. Thats why this show is my favorite form of PG lesbianism.



Now, please remember, there is so MUCH MORE. But these are just my top 5 PG and PG-13 lesbian moments. Don't even get me started on the movie Wild Things, Rachel Shelley in ANY sex scene on the L Word, or Lena Headley and Piper Perabo in Imagine Me & You.

Happy Saturday to all ;]

- J

My Lesbian Agenda

First off, my own personal gay agenda is far from what the republican, homophobic [expletive] *coughasshole’scough* believe the gay agenda is. My *points at self with both hands* own personal gay agenda is all in the name of science. A few weeks ago I saw an article on AOL saying that two female rats made sweet, tender and rough when they needed to be love with each other. The result. A beautiful baby girl. That’s right, two scientists made two girl rats have sex and make a baby without the help of any males or sperm. I’m totally going to ignore the fact that most likely, some douchebage scientist was like “Hey, let’s make two girl rats do it. It’ll be hott.” Whatever. But now, I’ve taken it into my own hands. Without anybody even needing to ask, I have stepped up and made it my personal goal, to have as much sex with a woman as possible to get her pregnant. The results have been astounding. Let me tell you that much. I’m all about making the world a better place, you know? I just want to do my part.

But really, it’s absurd to say that the “gay agenda” is to turn young adults and children into “being gay” as if it were a choice. It’s just as absurd as saying that I’m going to eat your baby, screw a goat, or watch El Cantante with J Lo and Marc Anthony. Fuck off with that. I will absolutely NOT watch El Cantante with J Lo and Marc Anthony. In fact, I am taking PRO ACTIVE steps to make sure that they never ever share the big screen again. If they wanna make movies, let’s keep it with a camcorder, in the bedroom, on a sex swing, bound and gagged like the rest of America. I mean, really.

If educating people about the homosexual lifestyle is really a means to turn someone gay, then I argue that teaching drug prevention promotes doing drugs, or educating people about alcohol abuse promotes alcoholism. What is sad is that the very same country that claims to send the message that we are all free to be ourselves, to learn, live and love equally shoulder to shoulder with everyone, is completely shifting focus off the real point. I’m not saying I’m surprised. I mean our government, in this country, lying to us?! NO way! Our government? The same government that screws us three ways from Sunday and isn’t even kind enough to give us a reach around?! Fuckin’ say it ain’t so.

What the real goal is to teach awareness. To teach diversity and tolerance. America is one huge melting pot orgy. We have to learn how to live with each other, tolerate each other, and respect the fact that we share different thoughts, morals, and most importantly, lifestyles. Just like, say, you might want to watch El Cantante. I mean, I can piss and moan, and explain to you that the movie will be so bad it will hurt you and make you cry, but at the end of the day it’s your choice. Depends on if you want to be a rebel that day or not. I have to respect that. I mean, me being gay I am just asking that people treat me no differently than your average Marc Anthony, respect my lifestyle and respect who I am and understand it is not something I stumbled upon. And by no means is it “an easy way out”. In fact I must be pretty strong in my convictions to deal with the harsh reality of what it entails to be gay.

Because really, who would “choose” this life? With this “decision” comes knowing that you will not be as welcomed anymore, the possibility that loved ones in your life will no longer accept you, the chance that a complete stranger will choose to harass you or harm you based solely on who you are holding hands with, the ridiculous notion that you’ll be attracted and oogle over ANYONE of your same sex. Pfft. Yeah, right, some people can be so self righteous. Just because I make out with women, does NOT mean just because you are not a man, I want you. This is not true. I’m just as picky and bitchy as I was before when I was dating men thank you oh so very much. I look at it this way, me asking for your acceptance is not me asking YOU (meaning straight people) to get at a chick. I’m not forcing you to take on a stone butch…although you might want to think about it, they’ll tear your shit up. True story.

So on that note I say, love who you will, move ahead, take care of yourself, family and loved ones, and remember, that fate is a bitch. The more you hate in this life, the more you’ll be hated in the next. And lets hope to god Elton John isn’t ruling the place, or you’ll probably find a nice hard cock up your bum for eternity.

Tough life.

As for me, I love life. Life is being good to me. I’m grateful.

So grateful, Im thinking of renting El Cantante.

Bahaha. What a joke. I will not.

-J

It's MINE'S

So this is my first post on my OWN blog. Some of you might be hitchhiking here from YDLM, so welcome! If you are stumbling upon this randomly…then for sure take off your shoes, most definitely take off your shirt, give me your wallet, pin number and stay a while. Sometimes it'll be funny, sometimes blah, but I'll always have something to say. That much I know. My middle name is satisfaction and I'm changing my last name to guaranteed, so we'll be good to go. Not 100% satisfied? Then I'll give your panties back. OR you can just write me. Whatever makes you comfortable.

I've had a pretty full year so far and I've learned a lot about myself. I've gone through some drama in my personal life and this blog represents a new beginning. Here are some things I've learned:

-L Word Season 1 is still the best season.
-Never settle for less than you deserve.
-Personally, I deserve Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Ice Cream. Just sayin'.
-The front bumper on my Solara does REALLY WELL in a low speed collision.
-A Saab's back bumper DOES NOT do really well in a low speed collision.
-I see at least ONE douche bag a day. And they all have that same egotistical "my mom still does my laundry" grin on their face.
-Everyone in my life deserves an Oscar for being the best supporting cast in my life's drama.
-Do not park in the loading zone in front of Splash. You will get a ticket.
-If it's late at night and you're running toward Weinerschnitzel…Winter WILL yell at you to "only eat the weenie". Cut out the carbs, yo.
-Girls are better than boys. At everything AND in every way. FYI.
-Two girls don't need a rod.

So here's to a new blog and new stuff being said, randomly. Right now I am off to watch Scrubs. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend....

Have a safe Saturday night!

-J