Sunday, November 8, 2009

Someone like you...

I want something to move me. I want something to move like me like my favorite acoustic song. I have so much to give, so much to contribute, but yet I feel so fruitless. No outlet. My biggest worry is settling into something in this life that leaves me unfulfilled. Something that leaves me feeling like I've given less than my potential. Too much passion moves me. Too much feeling dictates my every move; my every thought. What is my calling? I don't know.

Birthday is coming up. The "big" 25. What has become of me? What have I seen? I've experienced plenty. I've created memories. I've made friends, and through the years have learned who I can turn to. But never in my life do I want to become stagnant. I never want to feel as though I'm living day to day. I want to make something of myself. Even if it is someone small. I want to be somebody.

I feel as though I have all this energy locked inside of me with no outlet. I write, and I write. I draw and I draw. I go throughout my day with lyrics flowing through my head, but what do I do with them? Is it ever enough to make a living? Is making a living ever better than becoming someone?

Unfortunately in this day there are bills to be paid. Money is needed to keep you going, but what about becoming something you've always dreamed of? Am I doing it all in enough time? Sure, I could pick something. I could settle into a career, anything of my choice. But am I really becoming someone special? I've this creative energy that I don't know what to do with. I guess I don't have the balls enough to follow my dreams. That car insurance, that rent wont pay itself if I write some lyrics or draw something.

Where do I go from here? I don't know. Where am I going? I don't know. The "self-help" section at Borders wont help. I envy those who have followed their hearts to create realities of their dreams.

Hahaha...


Sooo goooood...



- J



1 comment:

cruxine said...

I think everyone to some extent have self doubts.... I often wonder if I made the right choices or if I've simply wasted my time in the career i chose... Reading your post was annoying because it could have easily been written by me.... I wish I could give you an answer of some sort... But what I keep telling myself, always, is that people will passion always end up somewhere, even if they have no idea where.. So chin up, ok? :)