Monday, November 3, 2008

I miss you now

Its that time again. Called on like an old friend. Consistent and precise, it happens from time and time. The overwhelming urge to see you your face in front of me again. Bright and shiny like I remember. All of you before it all became unglued. I miss you now. Thought I had the strength to make it better, to make it all worth while. For you, I wanted to be. What you needed. Wrapped up in my own world, but selfishly persistent to bring you back to you. The one always there, when no one else could be found. My best friend. Memories trapped in this box I call my mind. You live here. Through my own life, my own drama, my own angst, you've stayed in that little box you now call your home. You live here. And I miss you now. I see those tattoos and I see you. And the face, that always helped me through. It's that time of year. Every year, I shed one less tear. Among millions, hard to think it makes a difference. Hard to think it gets easier. I miss you now. More than ever. And it happens every year. Fall comes along with all of its gray, and sweeps into a bright red heart, pumping so young, and fruitless, unaware of that part of you that is getting me through. Your strength, shot into my heart, with tired, shaky hands. Hard to trust that its for the better. I miss you now. I don't remember the wrinkles of your face, the strength of your hands, the brilliance of your mind. Wish I could rediscover it all again. Because this time I'd take note. I'd let you make your mark on this life I call mine. I'd let you in. Again and again, and not take advantage of the love you shared. I miss you now. And again.

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