Friday, October 31, 2008

Pop my cherry

Arlan. On Cherry Bomb on AfterEllen

Check it below:



Happy Halloween. I'm off to be a fallen (slutty) angel with my girl. Be safe!

-J

Monday, October 27, 2008

Know what I hate...

People who, as they are drinking water from a water bottle, squeeze the hell out of the water bottle; leaving it in smithereens.

You might as well shotgun a beer and then squish the can with your bare hands and throw it on the floor, really hard.


I'm in a bad mood, and will tolerate no level of doucheyness.

How the hell do you spell doucheyness? Who cares.

That's all I have to say today.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting



Thursday, October 23, 2008

Vote NO

Okay so my gf is working on a paper for Proposition 8. First off, anyone who would actively go out of their way to work to DENY people the right to be with and marry who they want, they suck. No really. There are people out there, that I can't even swallow how they live their lives. The people they choose to be with. Not to mention religious fanatics that devote their time to putting others down, making impressionable people believe that anyone who is gay is a lesser person "plagued" by their homosexual lifestyle, all in the name of a "god" they call "all loving and all excepting". Is it the duty of "god's" followers to be mindless, soulless servants soldiering his words of love and forgiveness through degrading acts and hateful words upon a group of people through their rose colored glasses and their heterosexual world of privilege?

As I was reading, there are 1,400 privileges, both legally and economically, that heterosexual married couples enjoy and happily take advantage of. Some of the basic ones as "next-of-kin" during hospital visits, inheritance of estate in the absence of a will, domestic abuse situations, joint parent equality, medicare and social security.

I look at it this way, I like human beings that happen to have boobs, a vagina, shaved legs, that smell "heavenly". And straight women, they like human beings with a penis, two dangly things clinging on for the ride, hairy legs and chest, facial hair and that smell like wood shavings and axe body spray. I'm not asking you to sleep with women when I say, "let me love her" and I, by all means, wont be wishing to sleep with men when you say, "let me love him". Because isn't that what we do when we walk down the street and hold our partners hand? We are wearing this invisible sign that says accept me without shoving your morals and values down my throat". And I can promise, I will happily extend the same courtesy to you if you do the same for me.

You know how many douche bags I have seen holding this totally cute chicks hand? I see him turning around, staring at the other chicks, high fiving their buddies cuz they "just tapped that ass" and I look at her and say "you could do better". Just like they look at me and think "you have so much going for you, you could easily find a husband, you could do better". But it's not my place. In no other instance is okay for someone to force their opinions on someone else. If I see an obesely overweight person stuffing their face with endless quarter pounders, ice cream sandwiches and chili cheese fries from outback steakhouse piled high on their plate, it by no means would be okay for me to walk up to them and say, "Jesus Christ, slow down will you. God meant for you to eat healthy, so you can live a long healthy life. Start eating your vegetables". I'd be up shit creek without a raft for sure.

Anywho, point is, vote no on prop 8. And I promise that when I see little hottie with her douche bag boyfriend, I will respect her choice to be with whoever the fuck she wants to be with. Even if his name is Chad and drives a Silverado.

So I when I walk down the street holding my gf's hand, just look at me and smile, cuz I'm happy and that's all that matters.
I don't ask you to run around naked supporting it, but I ask you tolerate it, and let me do muh thang.

Alright, 'nuff of the lesbian thing, did you hear Lindsey got kicked off Ugly Better cuz she had a bad attitude? Even though she's muff diving, she's gotta clean up her act and be a good lesbian role model. Cause us lesbians, we hate dicks.

True story.

-J

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Gloria Jean's Coffees

"You can't brew a better bean". Touche, Gloria, touche. I didn't have a clever title for this post, so I just looked at my coffee cup. One thing I can say is, Gloria, my dear, I think there is someone who can brew a better bean. They're called Starbucks or Peets. If you truly brewed a better bean, it'd be called "Glorias". Hate to break it to ya. Truth hurts sometimes. Deal with it.

Man what a week. Yesterday felt like Friday to me. I guess that shows how ready I am for this weekend. I've been laying low these past couple of days, mainly because I have been sick. I went to make some soup last night, but I am all out. Everyone deserves soup when they are sick! But instead I had sunflower seeds...I suppose that explains why I am sick in the first place.

What is with this season though really? It was like freezing during summer months, got hotter during the fall months, and just this morning it was colder than Martha Stewarts vag. I'm wearing an eskimo jacket, like I'm Sarah Palin and living in Alaska. But unlike her, I can't see Russia from my house. But it's because I am sick. I look ridiculous though...I'm holding smoldering coffee, my heater is blasting hot air so hard that the fur on my eskimo jacket is blowing from the wind, and I still have my jacket on...in the lobby. I am a complete and utter baby when I am sick. I like cuddling and watching movies while I eat soup and someone strokes me until I fall asleep.

Heh. I said "stroke". If I were a guy that would be gross. Anywho...

I was watching a show called 30 Days. It's by the guy, Morgan Spurlock, who created that movie Supersize Me. He puts people that really should not be near each other, together for thirty days in an effort for them to gain some insight and broaden their horizons. For example, he put a pro-life advocate with a pro-choice supporter and let them live together and interact for thirty days.

The one I particularly enjoyed was one about same sex parenting. A mormon woman went and stayed with a gay couple that had four adopted children. She argues that no adopted child should grow up in a household with anything other than a male and female parent. First off, she'd be happier as a lesbian. Don't ask why thats relevant, it just is. Secondly, I beg to differ. What about single parent moms and dads? Is she arguing that children being raised by a single mom or a single dad will grow up defective? All that should matter is that the child is being raised in a loving home, where they can grow up, mature and evolve into an adult.

People like this make me sick. She spent the entire show arguing that others tolerate her point and that others accept her point. But yet she can't extend the same courtesy that she is asking for. Screw her. Tell her that the only person that will tolerate her ass, is God, and that's only because he created her. I don't have shit to do with you, and I have no problem takng my hand and slapping her across the face for her narrow minded, idiotic views.

And this is a free country. You are free to feel how you feel and think the way that you do. Where it crosses the line is when people start acting on their views, and forcing them on others. Its as simple as how people make a sandwich. Some like it cold, some like it hot. You can sit there and enjoy your pretentious brie and succulent thinly shaved pepper roast beef, sanGWICH on lightly toasted dutch crunch, with a splash of marzipan, cranberries and aged french dijon mustard. And I will enjoy my heartdy bacon, lettuce and tomato on white with mayo and CHEEEEEESE. I won't ask you for a bite of yours and you don't ask me for a bite of mine. Keep it to yo damn self.

Ugh. Not sure if that made sense, but I am hungry.

My agenda for the day:
- work.
- eat lunch.
- work some more.
- go home.
- wait for my safeway delivery at 7 :]
- unpack groceries
- eat soup
- shower
- crawl into bed with chloeface and watch surfthechannel.com until I fall asleep

Care to join? I could sure use the company...

Tonight's lezzy night in San Jo, don't do anything I wouldn't! That only leaves having sex with men. LOL, enjoy!

-J

Shit...it's only 10:30 :[




Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Yessss

Is it just me, or do acoustic versions of songs make you want to pee a little? Guess its just me...watch these while I go to the restroom...

STG - You are the one


Incubus - Summer Romance (Anti-Gravity)


Kerli - Walking on air


Sia - Breathe me
***the end is fucking awesome


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Can't say it enough



Disclaimer: The views expressed in the first two and half minutes of this video are that of the performers themselves, and never has been, has nothing to do with, and never will be the views of one, Jessica Porec.

Just FYI.

If you want to show me your boobs...um...inquire *within*

It's Tuesday. Live, love and laugh. Hard.

Word.

-J

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Mario bros. family guy style

oh yeah, giggity, giggity



That princess is a whore, I tell ya.

Happy lesbian night! And if you are not a lesbian then...happy....

No screw that, why aren't you a lesbian? It's much better, trust me. Trust me.

-J

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Just call me Lady McLovin'

Um...yeah, sure. I mean...ya know, whatever.



That's nice. Nice like freshly baked cookies and kittens.

Happy *hump* day

PS. Anyone up for some UNO?

:]

-J