Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Meh.

Oh and, this is for "anonymous". You know who you are.



Yeah, go 'head, make fun of dave again...

*evil laugh*

-J

This Makes Me Sick

I wish these two would cease to exist. I cannot, repeat, cannot go another day seeing pictures of these two. I hate them so much. I am so overwhelmed that I think I might cry. Seriously. He is the biggest douche bag I have ever seen. And I have seen so many. And Heidi is also a douche. Normally I reserve the term "whore bag" for chicks who are douche bags, but she is not even a whore bag. She too is a douche. Jesus Christ, this hurts to even put these pictures up...

Douche bags with bunny ears





Throwing up signs like this, I hope they get shot.





I don't care who you are. No one is this fucking happy when they are ice skating. Not even Tonya Harding. You spend most the time dodging little kids, elbowing people and falling on your ass. And I don't believe for one second that she knows how to skate. I hope she fell on her face.





Eat.Shit.





Just stop it.





Okay, I know that this is what these two do. They get paid to eat, shit , sleep and breathe behind the camera. But do they ever get sick of being fake? And how great is their relationship. They are just doing this shit to say they have done it. They are not really enjoying it.

Most of all, I can't stand the sight of them. I haven't seen a single picture where they are not happy. I wonder if the money is really worth it? Money makes things a lot easier, but it doesn't buy happiness. It can buy a lot of cheese, but cheese wont hold your hand at night when you sleep. Believe me, I've tried. And if you have someone who holds your hand, and takes care of you, and loves you, don't let them go. Life's too short to be unhappy.

Wow, what a speech. Anywho, these two suck. End of story.

Happy HUMP day. Which is referencing a day of the week, not a sexual act. *ahem*

PS. Chloe says hi!








-J

Monday, July 28, 2008

If you don't like dave, i dont give a shit. i do. :]


Thursday, July 17, 2008

No, I'm a Bigger Whore

Remember the good 'ol days when Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears would duke it out on who was the biggest whore? I miss that more than cold ice cream on a hot summers day when I was a kid. Ahhh, days spent frolicking in the wheat fields, countless hours spent choreographing routines so that every dance move resembled a sexual act, slipping Madonna the tongue, thousands and thousands of pelvic thrusts, fucking ex cast members of the Mickey Mouse club, and not washing their hair for weeks upon end to give it the "I'm so hot, i have freshly fucked dirty hair but its still cute, but not so cute that it takes attention off my boobs and ass" look. You know, days when a girl could just be a girl. Memories.

But really, for a while there, it seemed that Britney Spears was on top. Grabbing the bull by the horns and riding it like it was Ron Jeremy. Oh god, Ron Jeremy. Sexy beast [note: sarcasm].
And poor Christina Aguilera was like, "Hey, I was on Mickey Mouse club too! What about me!" *stands in background, legs spread shoulder width apart, hands behind head, slowly thrusting hips*. Yeah it was a sad life for Christina. But then she started slutting it up a bit. And it got her on the map. But I wonder how she feels today. She must be walking around with a perma-grin. She has this husband [*cough*douche bag*cough*], new baby, and new fantastic boobs thanks to the miracle of bringing a life into the world [thanks Jordan for ditching the rubber and knockin' her up, 'cause those funbags are flawless].

And here's Britney Spears, total nut case, acting a fool. Showing up to film TV guest appearances, for the only good two hours of the day that she's riding high on all the Prozac, to prove shes still normal. And as soon as she comes down, she shaves her head, and beats the shit out of SUV's with an umbrella. Christina must be relishing in it. Brava, Aguilera, go 'head giiiiirl. PS. Christina, I'm an excellent, [repeat], excellent stay at home nanny. I'll massage your breasts to get the milk flowing, and even check your nipples for sensitivity. I put your needs first. I'm just that kind of gal. Selfless.

In other news:
- Akshay bought Chloe a shirt that says: "Have you seen my pants?!", Hilarious, 'cause dogs don't wear pants, but also sad, 'cause that shirt implies my dog's a whore.
- I haven't eaten macaroni and cheese in like weeks. I'm past the withdrawal stage.
- I feel like a terrible lesbian because I haven't seen Wanted with Angelina yet. Oh well, I'll wait to watch her veiny arms and voluptuous lips on DVD.
- I signed up for school. I fuckin hate it.
- I want to make a video of my GF entitled "My girlfriend says the darnedest things". The following is just one example of why: I sent a text to her saying, "It's so hot, I can't read anymore. I'm sweating like a whore in church". She replies: "thats why I don't go to church." Touche. That's my girl.

Okay nuff of this nonense, get back to life. I'll get back to mine, and we'll reconvene, say....a couple days from now? Good deal, you bring the mandarin vodka and cheese, and I'll bring my self and my charisma.

:]

-J

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

This Sounds Just Right...

Good, good time tonight
Don’t it sometimes feel as if the world is turned upside down
And you’re standing on the edge
Trying to make the most of this
Kind of makes you feel heavy
Don’t it sometimes feel like you’ve got too much to bear
Well lay it at the door my friend
Come inside, and lets have a good, good…
Good, good time tonight
Try to forget it all
Cause it’ll still be there tomorrow
You can be sure
It’ll still be there for us all
Let’s have a good, good time tonight…
That’s what I preach
You can leave your problems
Aw, we’ll come back to teach about the fun that lies in a good, good time
Close your eyes, take it up, take it up
Leave it behind, leave it behind
Dance the night away
Till we hit the bottom of this bottle
Roll it up, roll up another one
And let’s have a good, good time tonight…