Friday, November 2, 2007

"Oh's long"

It is. My post, that is. You sluuuuts. It's been about a week since I did a real post on this thing. I feel ashamed. But I am making up for it with lots of goodies. I am writing this at night and I will put the finishing...touches *giggle* on it tomorrow morning and post.

How was everyone's Halloween? I went to Sacramento Saturday night to attend a Halloween shindig at a friends boyfriends bar. It was uber good times and I have never had so much fun sitting in one place for three hours. I thought I would go out on a limb and show you guys a few pics. Remember: the pictures below are for your entertainment only…they are NOT to be used for harassment purposes. That is unless you want to harass yourself into my pants. If that's the case, then, bring it. [Editor's note: I just wanted to say "editors note". Well, not really. Just wanted to say that I'm a broke ho, and we had to whip up a last minute costume for me, so the best thing we came up with was Johnny Knoxville. Well that's not true. Rachelle, aka "Flo", had me dressed up like a Harley Davidson Biker chick, with leather vest and all. I looked gay. I mean, gayer than KD Lang and Melissa Ethridge making out on a bed with "I <3 Shane" sheets with matching duvet cover, with Tegan and Sara playing in the background AND with Arlan watching and getting it all on video. I enjoy all things gay, but I went with Johnny Knoxville instead.]
< good times >

< /good times >

In other news. It's my birthday month!!! Ever since I was a little girl I have always celebrated my birthday month. I have birthday month rights, and when it's my birthday week, I will have birthday week rights. Deal with it. This means at any time I can shout out "It's my birthday month/week!" and you have to smile and pat me on the head. And if you lived with me, you'd find sticky notes EVERYWHERE reminding you and you'd be sure to get my birthday list in your email. It's just something I do, so love me for me. I will officially turn 23 on November 18th. I happen to share this birthday with my niece
Kennedy. She will be 3. Although I'm sure she will tell you she's 4. She's such a love.

Moving on...I just saw this video and I think you should watch it too. Umm, yeah. Lol
update: i was able to find another video that is actually available. so if you weren't able to watch now you can. k ima go eat breakfast.

My favorite part starts at -1:19. I think if I were ever to do karaoke, I'd do this version of this song. Hands down...

...your pants.

I think that was quite possibly the worst performance ever. Two questions: Umm why did people clap and cheer at the end? And second, why isn't this getting more attention?! Everyone and their mom (not my mom tho) was quick to tear apart Britney's performance and I have yet to hear anyone really talk about this performance. Maybe it's because this is such an utterly huge disaster. I mean, I don't think Amy Winehouse was even trying to pull it off. She was too far gone. I find humor in other people's embarassment.

So I went to the gym earlier [now last night] and I had a pretty good workout. It was much needed too because I had a long day. I didn't leave the office until 6 and didn't get home until 7. I know, ouch. Come rub me down? Anywho, I was at the gym and I thought it would be cool to get a personal trainer. So I called my mom and told her to scratch those sunglasses I wanted off her list and get me a personal trainer instead. She said "no". I said "ok, love you, I'm winded, bye". *click* So on the way out I decided to ask just how much it would cost to whip me into shape. I have some toning and losing fat I need to do, but I wont tell you all how much. The guy said it would take two months to get there and that it would cost...*drumroll*...$1300. I was sooo taken back by this figure. How does this guy sleep at night?! I can understand that much for like a huge life altering improvement to your body...but not for what I was looking to it for. Ugh. So Jess has to continue working out on her own and let's just hope I reach my goals by January. *reaches into bag of Doritos*

So, my friend Rachelle is coming this weekend to pay me a little visit so I might not be able to get you a post. But I have some stuff stashed away so check back. What is everyone doing this weekend? Tonight Rachelle is going to make me tater tot casserole and we are going to watch some movies. Then tomorrow I was thinking of doing a little thrift store shopping, maybe grab some lunch and then hit up the bars tomorrow night. So I hope everyone enjoy's their weekend! I was given some very good advice by a dear gay friend of mine and I thought I'd share it with you all.

Arlan says: "Breasts make everything better".


Kiss your girlfriends. Grab some ass. Break someone off. Drop a beat. Take a shot. Give me money. BE SAFE!



Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday month! its actually mine too, well tomorrow is my birthday . . . 21, ya heard? but uh . . . yeah, anyway. your amy winehouse vid made my day. i love that dumb woman. i love her even more when she is completely trashed. makes me hate american jack asses (lindsay & britney) a little less when i see that we arent the only country on the planed who's pop icons are useless pieces of garbage. yay for the brits stooping down to our level!

Audio Taco said...

oh yaayness- its my birthday month. and i turn (drumroll) 23 also. so when its my birthday party i call it- TTTT (tina turns twenty three). BTW, the picture you pained of gayness made me laugh really hard because Arlan was a guest and you plugged a lot of people into the scene.

th-Inker said...

damn, not quick enough to catch that video before it got oh well, it's friday, i'm still at work and hour after I'm not supposed to be, but then I wouldn't get to bask in you awesomeness. Safety is over rated, but touching isn't. Have a happy birthday month beginning!!

Becs said...

Vital question of the day - what do you crazy Americans mean when you talk about these "tater tot" food thingys?

I can't give you money, but I am quite willing to grab some ass if necessary.

jescas said...

anonymous: thank you for the birthday shout out *blushes* happy 21! drink, be safe and call me if you need a ride.

tina: you're the bomb for coming up with TTTT. i bow at your feet.

peter: im glad someone is basking in me. its been too long. if ya know what i mean..ehh..ehh...

becs: LOL! you are too cute that you have not tasted greatness in your mouth. um. that sounds dirty. but check this link to see what the hell we are raving about. stick one in your mouth, chew on it, and get back to me on whatcha think. i promise your life will be changed.

Becs said...

Ahhhhh solved! Hash browns!

Oh the Internet, I heart it.

We have them here in Ireland. Yum. We generally eat them for breakfast though. Never contemplated a hash brown casserole. Hmm I'm on it. I will report back.

Birthday Happiness to you!

jescas said...

aww thanks becs!

Merc said...

I just wanted to say, I love reading your blog. It always makes me smile. I'm kind of going through hell right now. I'm falling for my best friend. I got shitfaced tonight and I tried to kiss her. Hmm..what happened? REJECTED!!!! I feel like shit. If you have any advice, that'd be awesome. My best friend doesn't know I like her like that. No one even knows I like girls. We've made out before but we we're both drunk. But I remember every moment of it. It was fucking awesome! Anyway, I'm sorry about my rant. Keep up the good work! <3

jescas said...

you've come to the right lady, believe me. i'll give you some general advice first. if you dont do anything else, always protect your heart. and in my own opinion, open and honest is always the best policy. if you do open up to your best friend about your feelings for her, what is the worst possible thing she can do? reject you, right? she cant take away your birthday, or tell you santa isnt real. the rejection will sting, but the scar from it all wont be nearly as great as if you continue to put yourself in situations that you know will hurt you. on the flip side, maybe she has feelings for you too. but you wont know unless you talk to her.

either way, you are your own best friend, so always be sure that you have your own back first.

and id love to talk to you more, please email me at

look forward to hearing from you!

*hands you a slice of cheese*

fyi: cheese always makes things better :]

<3 J

page1of1 said...

wowzers, u're a tater tot luver and a scorpio? me too!! <3 I totally LOL'ed after seeing Tegan n Sara make a tater tot casserole geez, they're so hot!! luv ur blog! =D