Sunday, September 16, 2007

It's MINE'S

So this is my first post on my OWN blog. Some of you might be hitchhiking here from YDLM, so welcome! If you are stumbling upon this randomly…then for sure take off your shoes, most definitely take off your shirt, give me your wallet, pin number and stay a while. Sometimes it'll be funny, sometimes blah, but I'll always have something to say. That much I know. My middle name is satisfaction and I'm changing my last name to guaranteed, so we'll be good to go. Not 100% satisfied? Then I'll give your panties back. OR you can just write me. Whatever makes you comfortable.

I've had a pretty full year so far and I've learned a lot about myself. I've gone through some drama in my personal life and this blog represents a new beginning. Here are some things I've learned:

-L Word Season 1 is still the best season.
-Never settle for less than you deserve.
-Personally, I deserve Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Ice Cream. Just sayin'.
-The front bumper on my Solara does REALLY WELL in a low speed collision.
-A Saab's back bumper DOES NOT do really well in a low speed collision.
-I see at least ONE douche bag a day. And they all have that same egotistical "my mom still does my laundry" grin on their face.
-Everyone in my life deserves an Oscar for being the best supporting cast in my life's drama.
-Do not park in the loading zone in front of Splash. You will get a ticket.
-If it's late at night and you're running toward Weinerschnitzel…Winter WILL yell at you to "only eat the weenie". Cut out the carbs, yo.
-Girls are better than boys. At everything AND in every way. FYI.
-Two girls don't need a rod.

So here's to a new blog and new stuff being said, randomly. Right now I am off to watch Scrubs. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend....

Have a safe Saturday night!

-J

14 comments:

arlan said...

my shirt was already off.

:-)

*prepare thyself for the flood of lesbians. you'll be wet for DAYS*

Sarah said...

hey jessica! thanks for linking to my blog. i look forward to reading more of yours. :)

Miss Melanie said...

CUTE. Cuuuuuuute. Tell me more. *kssshhh* over.

Amanda said...

I look forward to reading more!

Brenna said...

Yay for your own blog! I can't wait to read more of your brilliant ramblings.

ninary said...

this made me really really happy

Goddessofsmiles said...

I dont wear panties !!!! okay that was random I know but I just wanted to get ure attention...got it? wicked just wanted to say ure hot ure gorgeous and ure funni...thanx for ure blogs they are my escapisim from my reality to ure reality.....keep Blogging....Keep Smiling!!!!!! luv Clair.....check myspace page goddessofsmiles......ciao...xxxxx

Goddessofsmiles said...

I dont wear panties !!!! okay that was random I know but I just wanted to get ure attention...got it? wicked just wanted to say ure hot ure gorgeous and ure funni...thanx for ure blogs they are my escapisim from my reality to ure reality.....keep Blogging....Keep Smiling!!!!!! luv Clair.....check myspace page goddessofsmiles......ciao...xxxxx

KayluhRennee said...

Like a kid wanting more candy,WRITE ANOTHER BLOG.

peeeeas and carrots.

Jen said...

L word season 1 will always be the best season. It has all the best bits in. And girls are better than boys obv :D

x

keira said...

ummm, carmen is my favorite season. she needs her own show where she can be an Iranian grrl, instead of what ever latina they made her into in season 3... how am I ever going to get through all these wonderful blogs in one work shift... =]

Noha said...

Marry me? lmao. This is your lover leaving you a comment on your awesome blog. I shall return. Maybe nekkid maybe not. Just wait it out :p

th-Inker said...

sweet, i'm not cool enough to read your myspace blogs....

-peter

winter said...

:] ....why isn't there any mention of your love of cheese? hmm? keep it up missy!! the sounds. tonight. prepare yourself.